It's Okay To Vent...Right?

It's been one of those days weeks. I know, it's only Tuesday (right?), but really, I guess I just need this.

I love my little family. It's amazing how much I love them, but right now, I feel so unaccomplished. Remember I just went from working a full time job and going to school at night every day of the week and clinics on the weekends for almost 9 months. I don't know how to just not do anything, or barely anything.
Yes, I did give birth 20 days ago, and yes, I know I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself. No, I don't need anyone telling me that I need to slow down and remember that I just gave birth. Sorry, I just know what I can and cannot do, and I cannot just sit here and twiddle my thumbs day in and day out.

Okay, that's a lie. I could sit here and twiddle my thumbs day in and day out. I don't have a problem doing so.

I just need to feel like my "friends" actually gave two cents about me!* I made some great friends over the past year, but you want to know something, I have a handful, yes a handful, of friends who have actually a) come to visit me or b) check up on me at least once a week. So, my so called friends who miss me and love me so dearly, where are you? Why is it that it gets put on my shoulders to check up on you when I'm the one who just had a baby? Just because I'm a mom doesn't mean our relationship has changed. I'm seriously considering who my real friends are. I've come to find out that I don't have very many who actually care.

*Now, there are quite a few friends of mine that do check up on me. I'm not talking about you in the previous paragraph. I truly appreciate your friendship and you checking up on us! It brings a smile to my face to know that, man, someone actually cares enough to take 2 minutes out of their day to send me a text or message me on FB. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without the few of you who actually do that. So, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. <3

It's okay to vent.

It's okay to call.

It's okay to visit.

It's okay to take me out of the house while I have someone who is more than willing to watch Brielle for me.

It's not like I, Ambria, have disappeared...

Or have I? o.0

2/23/2013

She's a week old. 

Today is my official due date, and my sweet pea is a week old. 

2/23/2013

10:56am

7lbs 10.3oz

18 inches long

Head of hair

Dazzling eyes

Brielle Avery RhuEmma Beal

<3

She has stolen my heart. 

Life is complete with her in my arms. 

8.5 hours of labor meant nothing the moment she was laid on my chest for the first time. 

The first glimpse of her and my life was forever changed. 

The exhaustion I felt for 9 months vanished the moment I first heard her cry. 

Tears of joy instead of pain are shed every day. 

<3

She's my:

Little Treasure. 

Princess. 

Sweet Pea. 

Beautiful. 

Everything. 

<3

Most importantly, Brielle is my daughter.

The daughter I've dreamed of the moment I found out I was pregnant.

The daughter who I giggled with when she would kick my belly and hiccup all night long. 

The daughter I will love for eternity. 

<3 

Best days of my life: 

8/12/2011

&

2/23/2013

<3

And Everyone Adores Her

And to think, she's a week old today.
Sigh. Where does the time go? 

<3

72+ Hours of Patience

You know that feeling when you believe you've reached your peak? 

Yeah me too. 

I thought I hit the peak with this pregnancy this last weekend. My OB, who is wonderful by the way, gave me the best hope this last Thursday. After waiting 2 hours to see Dr. L, she came in, checked me out and told me that I had dilated from 2cm to 4cm and had effaced to 90%! Woot...right? Of course! She also did a little sweeping of my membranes which gave me a 50% chance of going into labor in the next 72 hours of my appointment. 

I was thrilled. I thought, "This is it! Finally, I think I've reached the end." Commence the walking & spicy food!

... ... zzz ... ... !

I'm still pregnant. (Insert unhappy pregnant face)

Seriously, this child of mine has a mind of her own, and even though I'm bummed that I still need to wait to hold her precious little body in my arms, I'm thankful she's the way she is. She's an "on my time" kind of a little girl, and that's okay by me. She's a mix between Miguel and me... o.0 Yeah, I'm a little worried, won't lie. Not a bad worried, but enough that it makes me nervous to think wow, three oldest children in the same house. Woah. I'll let you know how that goes. 

Also, I did set up an induction date, which I'm having some reservations about. I really want her here, but I don't want to force her out when she's not ready. I mean, since I'm keeping the date hush hushed, she won't be that far off from her due date, and that's okay, right? I'm just miserable. I wake up with heartburn every single night. I get 5 hours of sleep that has no benefits. At least with a baby I get to cuddle up with her... instead I'm stuck with a rock hard belly and full bladder at 3am. :( 

Seriously though, I'm ready for her to be here anytime now. Send us some pushing baby thoughts and maybe that will help. 

:) 

Pictures Are Included. :)

Basics to know: 

I'm a blondie again. <3 

Making short hair and pregnancy look good. :)

I'd like to have my hair look like this again. :) 

I think I'll stay this way for quite sometime. Just in case Brielle comes out with blonde hair, I want people to know that she's mine. And, apparently I look ten years older with my brown hair. No joke, I get asked at least once a week how many children I have when people see my belly. I'm only 21, not 31. Hopefully the blonde will tone down the age factor when people are trying to guess how old I am. I recently was told I looked 25. That was today actually. Kudos to me...? 

I'm still pregnant. 

This was on Wednesday. 36 weeks and 4 days pregnant. <3

I'm still 2cm dilated and 80% effaced. 3 weeks now. Sigh. She's still a cookin' that's for sure. I think she's getting a little too squished though. Hopefully, she'll want to play with us this next week. I'd totally be okay with that since I had a back labor pains all night long, like a Lionel Richie song. 

The doctor also told me that I if I go to my 40 weeks, I should expect a high 7 to a low 8 pound baby. o.0 I mean, come on. I wasn't that big, and I don't think Miguel was either. That just means she'll hopefully sleep through the night better. So I've been told. 

I'm considered "full term" as of tomorrow. 

That's right Brielle. You have 21 days to pack up your goodies and exit the womb. 

Technically, she can debut anytime after tomorrow, and my wonderful OB won't try and stop her! Bahahaha. Bring on the pineapple or the acupressure. 

She won't come out until she's ready, but a little wishful thinking never hurt any pregnant woman... :) 

Thank goodness my hospital bag is packed! Thanks to some wonderful girlfriends who make sure I'm blog savvy. 

I'm secretly a pregnancy model. 

Hahaha. Nah, just kidding. I just want to see if you were still reading my post. :)

And this happened... 

Thor Hedgehog and More! 

I think that's it... If not, I'll post more. 

Oh, and I have dinner shower tonight with some of the best classmates in the entire world! Shout out to my UCMT EM0312! <3

That 4am Post

1....2....3....4....5....zzz...zzzzz....zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

That's the way it should be. Count some sheep, fall asleep. But not for this pregnant lady.

Sleep hasn't been a very kind friend to me the past few weeks. I'm pretty sure it's just envious of the fact that I have the baby, and it doesn't. That, or it's being ever so kind as to remind that we will never be friends again. I haven't quite decided which one it is just yet. But, I really would like to sleep.

When the internal clock says, "It's Bed Time!" I normally can fall asleep within two to fifteen minutes of snuggling up in bed with my honey. Oh, and Miguel too. :) Lately, though, it seems like the internal clock is going off every 5 hours saying, "It's Bed Time!" even when the sun in up. 5 hours of sleep and then I'm up again.

Granted it doesn't help that for the past, almost, four days I have had a cough strong enough to hack up parts of my lung, a sinus headache to make it so when I am awake, I have no desire to sleep again and heartburn from the deep inner core of the earth. Seriously, who thought it would be funny to give a pregnant woman with less than four weeks left of her carrying a baby around all of this junk?! I have one step up on my diabetic coworker in the immune system department. That's not that great.

Thankfully, I have a great hubby who, when I run out of Tums, will make a 3:30am trip to WalMart to buy them for me. And yes, he did come back with other items too: A RingPop and Cherry Flavored Chapstick. He must have been tired... ;) What would I do without him?

In attempts to start feeling better, I'm going to hit the hay, figuratively that is. I don't happen to have a stack or even a skosh of hay in my bedroom. Maybe it would be better to say, "I'm going to try and cozy myself in the full size bed that I share with my hubs, while trying not to cough on him."

Oh! If any veteran moms, or Scategories masters, have any ideas of "items to pack in a hospital bag" I'd greatly appreciate it. Once this bag is packed, I'm sure we'll both be ready for Brielle's debut.

<3

Slowing Down

BAM!

5 weeks left today. Goodness gracious, where did the time go?

It seems like yesterday that I found out I was pregnant with this little princess of mine. And, if that feels like yesterday, finding out that this baby was a princess feels like 12 hours ago. Granted, I was almost asleep 12 hours ago, but you get the idea.

With only 5 weeks left, or less (!), I've come to the conclusion that I'm not Wonder Woman. I know, it was one of those tough choices to make, but really, I'm not. I feel like I am, but even Wonder Woman needs a break from all the crime fighting and cleaning up she has to do on an every day basis. I'm sure even she has her meltdowns, and she's not even pregnant. Kudos to her though for all her hard work each and every day. ;)

I'm not trying to pat myself on the back, or have any of you readers pat me on the back, but my days are pretty hectic. Now, I know there are a lot more women out there that do a whole lot more in their days compared to what I do, but this post is about me. A little selfish, yes, but honestly, I'm so close to hitting my breaking point with everything. With a 40 hour work week, 12 credits of hands on massage work and then 5 hour clinics on Saturdays, I'm pooped. Not to mention that I'm 5 weeks away from having this baby.

I could do all on my schedule if I wasn't carrying around a "large cantaloup," according to my What To Expect When You're Expecting app on my phone. I mean, I had almost this exact same schedule but kind of flopped in high school. Go to school all day and then work in the evenings. Plus all the homework. I managed, and I managed quite well. Good thing I wasn't packing on any extra weight in high school... :)

Now, the real question is, what do I cut out? I know I could finish out everything while being pregnant, but seriously, I want my money's worth and my time's worth for what I'm learning at school. I want to feel like I'm a good therapist-in-training. Honestly, I can't remember a single thing that I've learned this semester besides my Shiatsu Yelling Paper. "Yin Yang Yang Yin!" I don't even have the lung capacity to yell out the information, let alone perform the compressions and techniques in class to the best of my ability. The stretches too. Oh man. That's a work out all on its own for me! (But I am going to start doing a lot more stretching in these next weeks to help everything out).

So, I'm sure you can guess that I'm talking about cutting school out. Not really cutting it out, but taking a Leave of Absence for 10 weeks. I need to get more information from UCMT on Monday when I talk to Harmony, but I need it the time to relax and not rush this baby. I need the job for the money and the insurance. School, it can take a little time on the back burner while I "enjoy" the last few weeks of being pregnant.

This doesn't mean that I'm done with my classmates. Not at all. I love them all to death, each and every single one of them. They mean so much to me. Even the ones that may not think that I do care about them. All of them hold a special place in my heart, and I will always consider them to be some of my best friends. I have loved and appreciated all of their support during my pregnancy, and I want to keep in touch with them after this is all said and done. Just know I will be the biggest cheerleader at graduation for you guys. I'll cry tears of joy! ...and maybe some post partum tears too. You won't be able to tell the difference. ;)

It's been a great year, but this momma needs to take a break.

<3